i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
