I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
