Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
ttyl tear gas
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
