I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
