Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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