I think im going to throw up on grandma
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize