Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
