So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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