I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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