So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
