You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
