Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
