i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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