i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Randomize
