Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize