Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
