He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
if only i could text you this smell
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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