Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
