How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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