I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
