doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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