hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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