I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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