2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
