new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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