i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
