I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
