he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
