This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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