Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
there was a trapeze. enough said
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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