I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
