I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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