why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
