If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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