yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize