Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
