Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
