I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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