So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
