Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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