i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
whose ass print is on the piano?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Randomize
