He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
