He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
The power of my boobs compel you
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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