i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Who died my cat blue again?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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