i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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