you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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