wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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