Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
