I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
