I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
