nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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