her vagine was all disorganized.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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