well most of my day revolves around power hour
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
