Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
