what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
