i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
