i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
