So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
