i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
