im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
