I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
