I'm really into asian looking animals
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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