Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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