So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
