Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
